Hello, and welcome aboard GMP Flight 430, traveling on Saturday, April 30th from Seattle to two exciting INTERNATIONAL destinations: China and Mexico!

Our trip will begin with a stop at Jimmy Woo's Jade Pagoda at 10pm, followed by a short flight to Galerias at 11:15pm.

But first, we'd like to take a few moments to highlight the various safety features of this partycraft.

There are several exits from this party, one in the front, one at the rear, and probably one or two others -- though we're confident that you'll have little interest in leaving once we take off. If you're partying in one of the exit rows, please do not store your costume at your feet. If you're inclined to strip off your costume during the party, please store it in one of the overhead compartments, but only after you swing it above your head a few times.

In the event of a Dance Landing, you can follow the rows of lights on the ceiling and floor to the dance floor. White disco lights lead to red disco lights, which mark the dance floor. Please help other people find the dance floor, if they are having difficulty.

In the event of a loss of peer pressure, new friends will pop up to buy you shots. Place the shot up to your mouth and swallow it quickly. If you are traveling with people acting like small children, please drink your shot before helping them with theirs.

On the bar in front of you is a tip jar. Be sure to fill it with cash.

Please take a moment now to make sure your costumes are fastened low and tight about your waist. Your costume might reflect one of the many INTERNATIONAL destinations we hope to visit -- from Canadian Mounties to African Masai warriors, from Japanese Geishas to Australian Kangaroos. You could be dressed as a Mexican tourist, or a New York native, a Hawaiian Islander or a Scottish Highlander. Maybe even someone from Antarctica? Or you might prefer to dress like our flight crew. Or just dress 'INTERNATIONAL', whatever that means to you. Whatever you wear, please ensure it remains fastened until the captain turns off the 'FASTEN COSTUMES' light... like that would EVER happen!

There will be no meal or in-flight movie during our flight, though drink service will be provided for a small fee. Our first class passengers will have a selection of Top Shelf liquors available, while our Coach Class passengers will be drinking PBR -- you know who you are.

On behalf of the captain and the entire flight crew, we'd like to thank you for choosing Guerrilla Air. If there's anything we can do to make your party more fun, please don't hesitate to ask.

Get your passports in order, and we'll see you in First Class...